Royal Resident

The Royal Resident is an NPC located in the. They attempt to make the player leave the room, by having an incredibly long set of dialogue.

Dialogue
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 * Show/Hide Dialogue
 * - class="mw-collapsible mw-collapsed" id="mw-customcollapsible-dialogue1"

Royal Resident

 * What are you doing in my room?
 * Get out of my room now!
 * I am going to call the guards if you don't leave
 * Guards! Take them into custody NOW!
 * Well hmph, I guess the guards are kind of busy right now...
 * Can you just leave my room now?
 * I mean seriously, what is your problem?
 * I have never seen someone that stubborn before.
 * Ok how about this, I'll give you coins if you leave right now?
 * No? Ok ok how about coins then?
 * For god's sake, please just leave my room!
 * Alright alright, how does coins sound to you?
 * I guess you wanna stay poor?
 * You sure you don't want the coins?
 * Are you suuuuure?
 * Suuuuuure???
 * Welp I was kidding about the coins anyway...
 * Not going to give someone like you coins.
 * Way too precious.
 * So how's life? Good?
 * That's great to hear, how's the family?
 * Wonderful, so what brings you here actually?
 * What makes you play this game?
 * What makes you continue to click me over and over again?
 * You know this is gonna go on forever, right?
 * I won't stop until you go away.
 * So now that's out of the way, wanna hear a joke?
 * You do?
 * Great, get ready!
 * What kind of music did the gold nugget listen to?
 * *Heavy metal*
 * I know, very funny!
 * Wanna hear another one?
 * I know you do.
 * Why don't mining towns have hospitals?
 * Because everyone there only ever suffers from miner injuries!
 * Enough jokes for now...
 * I am surprised you haven't left after those horrible jokes.
 * Have you seen the monster behind you?
 * Yea over there, just outside of the door!
 * Go get it, it might want something from you.
 * I think it's the Golden Goblin, it gives out free powder.
 * Get it before you'll regret it.
 * Come on! Get it, you are gonna miss it!
 * ... You missed it...
 * Welp I guess no free powder for you then.
 * I have never seen someone stay this long in here.
 * You are a special being.
 * You might deserve something nice!
 * But not from me.
 * Anyway, do you want to see a magic trick?
 * You do??
 * Ok get ready!
 * You need to turn around for this one.
 * Promise me?
 * Good, turn around now!
 * Tadaa
 * Are you impressed?
 * No?
 * That makes me sad...
 * I guess I'll have to give up my magic career now. Again.
 * I had a lot of hopes and dreams.
 * I wanted to become a magician.
 * Perform on stage for thousands of people!
 * But I guess that's not gonna work anymore...
 * Because of you and those meddling kids...
 * I mean you. Just you...
 * You ruined my dream.
 * I will never forgive you.
 * Anyway, wanna grab a coffee some day?
 * I like mine with a lot of milk.
 * I don't know why I like milk so much.
 * Maybe I was a cow in my past life?
 * Imagine I was a cow, how funny would that be?
 * Can you imagine that?
 * Can you?
 * Try imagining it harder
 * Try harder!
 * Welp now you imagined it a bit too much...
 * I am a cow now!
 * How does that even work??
 * How can someone just turn into a cow just from someone imagining it?
 * Maybe I am not a cow, but instead just a hallucination and you are dreaming it all?
 * Have you ever thought about that?
 * What if nothing was real?
 * What if everything you knew and loved wasn't real?
 * I mean that would be pretty crazy wouldn't it be?
 * What if you are just inside of a simulation?
 * And some higher power would control everything about you...
 * How you look, how you talk, even the core fundamentals of who you actually are...
 * I couldn't believe that.
 * I don't think that actually happens with any of us, right?
 * I am still a cow somehow, can you stop imagining me as a cow now?
 * WHAT?
 * I am a SHEEP now???
 * That's not what I meant!!
 * I mean technically I said I didn't wanna be a cow anymore and you kind of did what I asked of you...
 * But I didn't think you would turn me into another animal?!
 * Whatever, I think I like being a sheep anyway.
 * My wool is so fluffy!
 * I feel very comfortable here.
 * Maybe that's better than becoming a magician?
 * Becoming a sheep!
 * I mean that's the life.
 * You just roam around all day and eat grass.
 * Isn't that the dream of all humans?
 * To one day stand in a field and eat grass?
 * No? I guess that's just me then...
 * By the way, the reward I told you about earlier?
 * The one that you would get from me?
 * There is none. There is no cake.
 * What, did I just say cake?
 * I meant there is nothing.
 * The cake is a lie.
 * Don't worry about it.
 * There will be no cake whatsoever!
 * This is a no cake zone.
 * It says it on the sign right over there.
 * "No cake zone" It says it right there!
 * See? So it's clear now, there is no cake.
 * Glad we got that over with.
 * Because there is no reward.
 * None.
 * Anyway, what's your name?
 * ? That's an awful name
 * I have seen better names.
 * Way better names.
 * That one you have - not good.
 * Just wanted to make that clear.
 * Anyway, my name you ask?
 * I don't have a name.
 * My mother told the doctor to not give me a name.
 * Because that's the best name - to not have name.
 * Think about it, there is nothing to make fun of about your name if you don't even have one.
 * My mother is a genius!
 * Just like me!
 * I guess she got that from me.
 * Actually that doesn't make any sense...
 * I mean of course it does, because I am a genius!
 * Anyway, aren't you getting tired of this?
 * Talking to a guy in a game?
 * Inside a palace in a cave on a floating island?
 * If you asked me, that makes no sense...
 * How does that even work?
 * Anyway...
 * I think I am gonna get some rest soon.
 * It's getting kind of late.
 * I have a big day tomorrow.
 * Maybe you should go too?
 * I mean it's pretty dark outside.
 * It's better you also go to sleep.
 * Here, take this cake!
 * I know I said there is no cake.
 * But the lie was a lie!
 * I lied twice.
 * But you did it.
 * You got what you wanted from me.
 * Even though you probably just looked it up somewhere.
 * And didn't even know about this beforehand.
 * But regardless, I hope you are happy now.
 * Goodbye.
 * This is the end.
 * The end of our conversation.
 * It's over!
 * All of it is over...
 * You can stop talking to me now.
 * You got exactly what you wanted from me.
 * And now it is over.
 * If you wanna thank anyone, this is the time.
 * Because it's done - it's over.
 * Seriously, it's over.
 * There is nothing else.
 * I'll start counting down, if you don't leave by then, I will be very angry...
 * Ok I'll start!
 * 10
 * 9
 * 8
 * 7
 * 6
 * 5
 * 4
 * 3
 * 2
 * 1
 * 0 Time's over!
 * You are still here?!
 * Didn't I tell you to go?
 * I'll give you a second chance.
 * This time I am gonna give you a lot more time.
 * I am gonna start counting down again!
 * Wow, you did it!
 * You actually waited this long?
 * Man, you are very dedicated
 * You did this for hours??
 * You waited all this time?
 * And no server restart made you disappear?
 * I don't know what to say...
 * I am sorry though, there is nothing here.
 * This is actually the end.
 * I swear!
 * Now you can finally go to sleep.
 * My final goodbye!
 * Sweet dreams!
 * Sweet dreams!
 * }

Trivia

 * The Royal Resident is one of the few NPCs that break the fourth wall, a term used to describe a character separated from its audience, due to it being in a "different world".
 * This is because it is aware that it's on a server and that servers restart.
 * Its countdown takes roughly 25,000 seconds, or around 7 hours to complete.
 * At the line 79 it transforms into a cow, and at line 94 into a sheep, followed by revealing that he has no name at line 130.
 * 21 lines after becoming "No Name", it will give the player.
 * is a reference to the game Portal.
 * It takes around 15–20 minutes to obtain The Cake.
 * "Because of you and those meddling kids..." is a reference to a popular children's show, Scooby Doo.
 * At the end of the conversation, the achievement is rewarded to the player.