Royal Resident

The Royal Resident is an NPC located in the Barracks of the Heroes at. 57 lines in, it teleports to. At line 79 it transforms into a cow, and at line 94 into a sheep, followed by revealing that he has no name at line 130. 21 lines after becoming "No Name", the NPC gives the player a special item called     "The Cake" as a reference to the game Portal.

In an attempt to make you leave his room, the NPC will begin counting down from 5000 all the way to 0. If the right mouse button is held down on the NPC, it will produce a new number approximately every 5.25 seconds, which means it will take 26,250 seconds, 437.5 minutes, or 7.2916667 hours to complete the countdown.

Upon completion, the NPC will stop talking, and you will receive the Royal Conversation achievement.

Dialogue
Royal Resident Dialogue (v0.11 - Present)


 * What are you doing in my room?
 * Get out of my room now!
 * I am going to call the guards if you don't leave
 * Guards! Take them into custody NOW!
 * Well hmph, I guess the guards are kind of busy right now...
 * Can you just leave my room now?
 * I mean seriously, what is your problem?
 * I have never seen someone that stubborn before.
 * Ok how about this, I'll give you if you leave right now?
 * No? Ok ok how about then?
 * For god's sake, please just leave my room!
 * Alright alright, how does 1 Million coins sound to you?
 * I guess you wanna stay poor?
 * You sure you don't want the coins?
 * Are you suuuuure?
 * Suuuuuure???
 * Welp I was kidding about the coins anyway...
 * Not going to give someone like you coins.
 * Way too precious.
 * So how's life? Good?
 * That's great to hear, how's the family?
 * Wonderful, so what brings you here actually?
 * What makes you play this game?
 * What makes you continue to click me over and over again?
 * You know this is gonna go on forever, right?
 * I won't stop until you go away.
 * So now that's out of the way, wanna hear a joke?
 * You do?
 * Great, get ready!
 * What kind of music did the gold nugget listen to?
 * *Heavy metal*
 * I know, very funny!
 * Wanna hear another one?
 * I know you do.
 * Why don't mining towns have hospitals?
 * Because everyone there only ever suffers from miner injuries!
 * Enough jokes for now...
 * I am surprised you haven't left after those horrible jokes.
 * Have you seen the monster behind you?
 * Yea over there, just outside of the door!
 * Go get it, it might want something from you.
 * I think it's the Golden Goblin, it gives out free powder.
 * Get it before you'll regret it.
 * Come on! Get it, you are gonna miss it!
 * ... You missed it...
 * Welp I guess no free powder for you then.
 * I have never seen someone stay this long in here.
 * You are a special being.
 * You might deserve something nice!
 * But not from me.
 * Anyway, do you want to see a magic trick?
 * You do??
 * Ok get ready!
 * You need to turn around for this one.
 * Promise me?
 * Good, turn around now!
 * Tadaa (he has now teleported to )
 * Are you impressed?
 * No?
 * That makes me sad...
 * I guess I'll have to give up my magic career now. Again.
 * I had a lot of hopes and dreams.
 * I wanted to become a magician.
 * Perform on stage for thousands of people!
 * But I guess that's not gonna work anymore...
 * Because of you and those meddling kids...
 * I mean you. Just you...
 * You ruined my dream.
 * I will never forgive you.
 * Anyway, wanna grab a coffee some day?
 * I like mine with a lot of milk.
 * I don't know why I like milk so much.
 * Maybe I was a cow in my past life?
 * Imagine I was a cow, how funny would that be?
 * Can you imagine that?
 * Can you?
 * Try imagining it harder
 * Try harder!
 * Welp now you imagined it a bit too much... (he has now transformed into a cow)
 * I am a cow now!
 * How does that even work??
 * How can someone just turn into a cow just from someone imagining it?
 * Maybe I am not a cow, but instead just a hallucination and you are dreaming it all?
 * Have you ever thought about that?
 * What if nothing was real?
 * What if everything you knew and loved wasn't real?
 * I mean that would be pretty crazy wouldn't it be?
 * What if you are just inside of a simulation?
 * And some higher power would control everything about you...
 * How you look, how you talk, even the core fundamentals of who you actually are...
 * I couldn't believe that.
 * I don't think that actually happens with any of us, right?
 * I am still a cow somehow, can you stop imagining me as a cow now?
 * WHAT? (he has now turned into a sheep)
 * I am a SHEEP now???
 * That's not what I meant!!
 * I mean technically I said I didn't wanna be a cow anymore and you kind of did what I asked of you...
 * But I didn't think you would turn me into another animal?!
 * Whatever, I think I like being a sheep anyway.
 * My wool is so fluffy!
 * I feel very comfortable here.
 * Maybe that's better than becoming a magician?
 * Becoming a sheep!
 * I mean that's the life.
 * You just roam around all day and eat grass.
 * Isn't that the dream of all humans?
 * To one day stand in a field and eat grass?
 * No? I guess that's just me then...
 * By the way, the reward I told you about earlier?
 * The one that you would get from me?
 * There is none. There is no cake.
 * What, did I just say cake?
 * I meant there is nothing.
 * The cake is a lie.
 * Don't worry about it.
 * There will be no cake whatsoever!
 * This is a no cake zone.
 * It says it on the sign right over there."No cake zone" It says it right there!
 * See? So it's clear now, there is no cake.
 * Glad we got that over with.
 * Because there is no reward.
 * None.
 * Anyway, what's your name?
 * ? That's an awful name
 * I have seen better names.
 * Way better names.
 * That one you have - not good.
 * Just wanted to make that clear.
 * Anyway, my name you ask?
 * I don't have a name.

No Name Dialogue (v0.11 - Present)


 * My mother told the doctor to not give me a name.


 * Because that's the best name - to not have name.
 * Think about it, there is nothing to make fun of about your name if you don't even have one.
 * My mother is a genius!
 * Just like me!
 * I guess she got that from me.
 * Actually that doesn't make any sense...
 * I mean of course it does, because I am a genius!
 * Anyway, aren't you getting tired of this?
 * Talking to a guy in a game?
 * Inside a palace in a cave on a floating island?
 * If you asked me, that makes no sense...
 * How does that even work?
 * Anyway...
 * I think I am gonna get some rest soon.
 * It's getting kind of late.
 * I have a big day tomorrow.
 * Maybe you should go too?
 * I mean it's pretty dark outside.
 * It's better you also go to sleep.
 * Here, take this cake! (gives player special item called "The Cake")
 * I know I said there is no cake.
 * But the lie was a lie!
 * I lied twice.
 * But you did it.
 * You got what you wanted from me.
 * Even though you probably just looked it up somewhere.
 * And didn't even know about this beforehand.
 * But regardless, I hope you are happy now.
 * Goodbye.
 * This is the end.
 * The end of our conversation.
 * It's over!
 * All of it is over...
 * You can stop talking to me now.
 * You got exactly what you wanted from me.
 * And now it is over.
 * If you wanna thank anyone, this is the time.
 * Because it's done - it's over.
 * Seriously, it's over.
 * There is nothing else.
 * 'll start counting down, if you don't leave by then, I will be very angry...
 * Ok I'll start!
 * 0 Time's over!
 * You are still here?!
 * Didn't I tell you to go?
 * I'll give you a second chance.
 * This time I am gonna give you a lot more time.
 * I am gonna start counting down again!
 * Wow, you did it!
 * You actually waited this long?
 * Man, you are very dedicated
 * You did this for hours??
 * You waited all this time?
 * And no server restart made you disappear?
 * I don't know what to say...
 * I am sorry though, there is nothing here.
 * This is actually the end.
 * I swear!
 * Now you can finally go to sleep.
 * My final goodbye!
 * Sweet dreams!
 * My final goodbye!
 * Sweet dreams!

(The Achievement "Royal Conversation" is awarded to the player)